Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Day Fifty-Six (Green Week - Day 2)

Okay. First of all Green Week.

We put up our shamrocks on the front door yesterday. And they were a lovely welcoming of green when I got home tonight. I love theme door hangers.

Alright. Secondly lets just sum this up to what its clearly going to be: a venting session.

In exactly one week I will be 28. And as it stands I'm not overly happy with the life I'm living. I take full blame, I know the mistakes and choices I've made and how I got here. I just don't know how to get from where I am to where I want to be.

I guess when I look at things from an overall point of view - this just isn't where I thought I would be. And I know I'm not "behind" and I'm not necessarily in a "rush" but I do look at friends and family and think "I want to be where they are".

I want a job where I'm excited to get up every morning and go too. I want to live close or down the street from my best friends and be able to help them out and babysit or just get together for Sunday tea or a Saturday movie. I want to be able to afford a house (not a condo) and be able to decorate it just the way I want it. I want to be special enough to be a bridesmaid more then once in my life, and plan a wedding (my own wedding). I want to own my own store, and make up my own rules. (okay that might actually be what i want, but it would be cool) I want to live in a town that you don't have to take public transit in, and its safe to ride your bike down the street.

On days like today when work just gets out of control, I just wish I could disappear. Go to a life that doesn't really exist. I wish I knew the next steps to get out of this funk that I've been in for the last few years.

Although my life isn't horrible. I should say that. I have amazing friends (even if i don't' see them all that much) and a fantastic family. A loving (but video-game obsessed) boyfriend, and a warm apartment (that isn't too overpriced).

okay that's it. end of venting.


Anonymous said...

one day you'll wake up and know exactly what you need to do...then you just need to do that. that's what happened to me when i was stuck at lti before i went to college. i just woke up one day and knew that it was time to make changes. in the last 5 years i have got a college degree from start to finish, met the man of my dreams, got engaged, got married, bought a house, bought a car, got a fulltime job in my career path, and now we're trying for kids. seriously, it all just happens. now i'm like "geez, all that happened in 5 years?!"

p.s. isn't 28 waaay worse than 27? i'm feeling it this year already, and i still have over a month to go!

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